Monday, October 06, 2008


Today, the Girl stood in the middle of the kitchen and screamed at the top of her lungs, full of righteous indignation:

Which was sort of funny seeing as how, you know, I wasn't yelling at the time.

A tip: Don't laugh at indignant 5-year-olds. Oh, the tears! The recrimination! It wasn't funny! Laughing at her IS. NOT. FUNNY!

Ah, but honey. It's the laughing at the not-funny stuff that gets you through life.

I would have tried to tell her that, but she was sort of busy threatening to poke me in the butt with her miniature American flag. I think there's some sort of message there, mayhaps?

Things are going. We're sifting through the business of death. The Boy punched a kid at school last week. The kids are taking ice skating lessons. I swear to God that I heard their father come in the house last week, in the middle of the day, while I was typing away on some job. I actually heard the door open, and I heard him call out "Hellooo?" in this funny way he used to do. I nearly answered, then I stopped, then I really stopped. Then I answered anyway. Nobody answered back.

I want to thank everyone who has sent us kindness--kind thoughts, kind words, kind deeds. It's odd to me that I started this stupid blog as a sort of self-motivating journal to get through some of the harshest emotions after my marriage fell apart. And now it's like I don't know what to say. Probably because I'm not sure what to think. Or, I am very purposefully not thinking. Except for when I've planted my arse on Dr. Zen's comfy chair. I think a bit then. Then I go sneak a cigarette and quit thinking for another week.

I guess that's okay, too.


Belle said...

Tales of 5 yr old angst:

A neighbor was going to make a quick run to the market, and was leaving her 5 yr old with the rest of the family (dad included). This trip was nothing out of the ordinary, but 5 yr old Jane wanted desperately to go. When told no (for about the fifth time) she grabbed a hold of the chain link fence, rattled it in anguish and wept 'I've never gone anywhere in five looong years...!!!'

Every adult within hearing broke up laughing. And that child, now in her 40s, still gets teased about five loooonnnng years.

jo(e) said...

Nice to hear you laugh again.

Psycho Kitty said...

OMG, Belle. Too funny.

Anonymous said...

It is OK. Letting the thinking and the feeling come at their own pace. There's a reason for it. It helps us be gentle with ourselves. Just like laughing at the not-funny stuff. --Cathy K.

B.E.C.K. said...

I'm glad to hear you're laughing here and there. I've been thinking about you a lot and hoping you're all getting through this somehow. Sounds like you have help, which is great. *big hugs*

Sarahlynn said...

Sounds like . . . coping.

Jessica said...

I've been thinking a lot, too...of you and your children. Glad you are here and writing.