Thursday, August 18, 2005

All aboard the Zen Train

So I told Dr. Zen that I get frustrated with myself because I know the person I want to be, and somehow I just keep on not being her. I said, "I truly, truly do believe in abundance and things working out for the good and in breathing and peace and all that jazz, but then when it comes down to it I always opt for the easy way out, the fast joke to cover up or the freak out drama queen act that gets all the attention. I annoy the hell out of myself. I want to be that person that just deals with things that come, knowing that it's all going to be what it is and that all will be well in the end so I can be at peace instead of having to be the center of attention." And she said one of the nicest things ever. She said, "But that's the person I see. You're closer to being who you want to be than you realize."

So let's see how I can do with this zen thing. Those niggling little worries that pull at my brain? Money, house, health of those I love, work, worry...I'm not listening to them. Just for tonight, at the very least. Listen to that! It's so quiet...