Dear Diet Coke,
How do I even begin? You know I loved you. I swore I'd never forsake you. You were everything to me, everything. How many years did we have together? So many good years. Whenever I needed you, you were there for me. How often I turned to you! But now...
We can't go on. You're hanging with a bad crowd, darling, and I just don't think I'll ever be able to look at you in the same way after this.
And anyway, you kinda taste like ass, now that I think about it.
Tears and kisses,