Wednesday, May 14, 2008

allrighty then

I don't think I sat on this one long enough. I'd cut two lines and two words if I could.

And while you're there, read this one. Isn't it lovely?!


Kyla said...

Gorgeous!! Really, PK, well done.

Jessica said...

Congrats to you both...wonderful writing.

Orange said...

I'm curious to know which two lines and two words you wish you'd cut. I liked it as it is, though I felt a little dim redoing the chronology and making sense out of things.

Psycho Kitty said...

I would cut the final line. There's also a line that got repeated somehow, and I would remove one instance of it. And I would cut the words "I'm saved."

Yuck, I just even hate writing about this piece now. It isn't that I hate it, I just like it a lot less than I liked it when I submitted it. So maybe it's good that I was a bit impulsive, because if I was staring at the thing now, I'd probably never send it out.