Wednesday, May 14, 2008

allrighty then

I don't think I sat on this one long enough. I'd cut two lines and two words if I could.

And while you're there, read this one. Isn't it lovely?!

4 comments:

Kyla said...

Gorgeous!! Really, PK, well done.

Jessica said...

Congrats to you both...wonderful writing.

Orange said...

I'm curious to know which two lines and two words you wish you'd cut. I liked it as it is, though I felt a little dim redoing the chronology and making sense out of things.

Psycho Kitty said...

I would cut the final line. There's also a line that got repeated somehow, and I would remove one instance of it. And I would cut the words "I'm saved."

Yuck, I just even hate writing about this piece now. It isn't that I hate it, I just like it a lot less than I liked it when I submitted it. So maybe it's good that I was a bit impulsive, because if I was staring at the thing now, I'd probably never send it out.