My virgin ears

This afternoon, in the kitchen, during a snack break, the Girl spilled her water. Mostly on purpose. (Oh the joys of the Big Girl Cup!) Ensued the following:

The Boy: Girl! Yuck! Fucking damn water!
Me: Gi--WHAT did you say?
B: Fucking damn water.
Me: ... !! ... ...
B: That's what Papa always says when something spills. You know, fucking damn water, fucking damn syrup, fucking damn, fucking damn.
Girl: FUCKIN DAMM!

[Let me just say now, I know that what follows is not the OPR (Optimal Parenting Reaction) for the situation.]

Me: Hmehfh! [Trying to stifle hysterical laughter] Uh, no! NO!
B: [Really running with it, now that I've shown weakness] FUCKING DAMN! FUCKING DAMN!
Me: B, those are very...hawrmph...rude...heesh...words.
G: FUCKIN DAMM!
B: Papa says 'em.
G: FUCKIN DAMM!
Me: Well. Yes. Hrrngth. Sometimes grownups do rude things. That doesn't make it okay.
G: FUCKIN DAMM!
B: FUCKING DAMN!
Me: Shnk! Mommy needs a time out! [As I am obviously not being effective, I go and lock myself into the bathroom, where I roll around in hysterics. Through the door, I hear...]

G: FUCKING DAMN!
B: [In a very sage tone] Girl, don't say that. I don't like hearing it. It's rude.

Once I managed to stop being 12, I let myself out of the bathroom and calmly explained that those words would get him into trouble with other grownups and he needed not to use them. I should also note that although I might have the linguistics of a naval defense worker here, I generally do not employee said talents in the presence of my children. So although I did feel like something of a hypocrite with the whole Rude Word speech, he really did hear it from his father. Fucking damn!