Sunday, March 13, 2005

That Old Time Religion--Now with Ketchup!

It was "drama day" at Sunday school, and the kids got to put on some sort of puppet show, of which I know only that the Boy got to be Jesus, and apparently it was Jesus as Punch from "Punch and Judy" because Jesus beat the, well, the bejesus out of the other puppet. "But," said the Boy happily, "everyone laughed and when we were finished, they all came and shook my hand! And even the kid with the other puppet thought it was funny. Everyone thought it was so funny!" I'm thinking of apprenticing him out to Mel Gibson as a screenwriter for "The Passion 2: Jesus Kicks Some Ass."

Then they made their own hand puppets out of paper lunch sacks, and the Boy made a donkey. With its tale on fire. Which kind of seemed reminiscent of some sort of prank that a donkey would play if it were in a fraternity.

And for the coupe de grace, we had religious instruction at lunch, which featured chicken cutlets, sweet-potato fries, and ketchup. (Hey, I was uninspired. Sue me.) "You know," said the Boy, "today we can have ketchup, but only today. And, well, only on Sundays. Because Jesus died today, on Sunday, and it was all the fault of ketchup, as you know. So, we can only eat ketchup on the days when Jesus died, which is Sundays. For ketchup. That's a rule."

I'm not sure what to do with this information. Maybe Mel will know.*

*I have not seen "The Passion" and I do not plan to see "The Passion." I would like to continue clinging to the days when Mel was your regular everyday hottie and not all into Jesus gore. I am all for Jesus, but in a decidedly "'Jesus Christ Superstar'/Jesus having a beer with the Buddha and Mohammed**/Jesus not voting for Bush" kinda way. Just in case you were wondering.

**And, uh, yeah. Jesus would probably be the only one drinking. I know that. But I'm pretty solid on the voting issue.