The things you hear...

Scene: The dinner table
Players: The Boy, the Girl, PK
PK: Gigi, eat your turkey. B...
B: [looking up] Yeah, Mama?
PK: B. Honey. Why do you have a rubber band around your head?
B: It's cutting off the insulation!
PK: Oh. Well, then.

Scene: The phone
Players: Old Dear Friend, PK
[Edited to add disclaimer: We are both mostly JOKING in this conversation! Because my friends and me? We give each other shit. A lot.]
PK: So the Girl threw a total hissy today because I put her in pants to go to church. She totally freaked. "We wear DRESSES TO CHUUUUUURCH!!!" I don't know where that came from.
ODF: Well, I guess she isn't going to be a lesbian.
PK: !!What?!
ODF: [giggling a little] You know, if she likes dresses.
PK: I can't believe you just said that! Like lesbians can't like dresses?!
ODF: Well...
PK: I mean, that's such a ... that's so ... that's a completely sexist comment!
ODF: I suppose so, but...
PK: And Hey! You're a lesbian!
ODF: I know. And I hate dresses.
PK: [really just teasing her now] Yeah, but, it's still sexist. You're like, the Sexist Lesbian. That can't be right.
ODF: [sighing] Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
PK: Well, you should be, Missy!
ODF: (I still like suits better.)

Scene: The park
Players: Boy, Girl, the Chicita (the Chica's girl)
C: Gigi! You are a chicken dish!
B: You are roast beef!
G: NO! NO BOY! NO CHICITA! I AM NOT CHICKEN! I AM NOT ROAST BEEF!

Scene: The office
Players: PK, the Chica, Really Sweet Doe-Eyed Intern
PK: [to RSDEI] You want anything from the Donut Haus?
RSDEI: [with a little gasp] The DONUT HAUS?
C: Mm-hmm.
RSDEI: There's a DONUT HAUS? A haus of donuts??
PK: Oy yah, baby.
RSDEI: [as if seeing the face of God] Oh my gosh! That's so ... awesome.