Monday, February 27, 2006

Zen and the art of breaking and entering

Friday 7:00 pm: I'm happily buying paint for the new house.
7:40 pm: I'm heading home so to hop on the computer and put a hold on a billpay item I just realized I hadn't rescheduled until Monday.
7:50 pm: I realize my Internet is down.
7:55 pm: I realize I locked ALL MY KEYS in my car.
8:00 pm: I call the Chica, who kindly logs on for me on her computer.
8:10 pm: We can't access the transaction, which means that IT'S PROCESSING.
8:20 pm: I start breaking into my car so that I can drive to the bank and make an emergency deposit.
8:30: Breaking in.
8:55: Breaking in.
9:30: Breaking in.
9:48: I lose the zen.
9:50: I recover the zen.
9:57: I succeed in using the dandelion digger to wrench open the driver's side door just enough to insert a wire coat hanger far enough to hook the trunk release and pop the trunk. YAY!
10:03: I eat half a banana.
10:07: I crawl into the trunk, insert a rubber-tipped crutch through the ski hatch (which thank heavens I had opened to fit in the paper blinds I'd bought at HD), and push open the lock on the back door.
10:15: I drive to the bank and make the bloody deposit.
10:30: I pour myself a big-ass glass of port, stick in "Nights of Cabiria", and start knitting.

Car: Slightly dented around the edges
Bank account: Saved, thank the Lord
Interent: Still hosed; piggybacking on the neighbor's wireless.
Zen: Hanging on by a thread.