Sunday, December 26, 2004

Just for a moment

I have this feeling, this saddish, almost guilt-ridden feeling, and I'm not sure why. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to someone or to something. Is it holiday letdown? Is it because when the kids left with their dad today, my first thought, just for a moment, was "Ahhh, freedom!" Is it because I might finally make the decision to get on with my bloody life?

I'm reading some poetry by Veronica Patterson--it's lovely. My favorite so far is "This House". I love the last few lines:

The funny thing is how the house is situated. A woman is holding it up
on one finger. If she needs to put the house down--just for a moment--

where will she set it?


~profgrrrrl~ said...

I'm feeling the same. Thinking it is both holiday let-down combined with general end of year reflection (thinking of what I didn't like so I can do it differently).

Beautiful poem.

Psycho Kitty said...

Sigh. Damned melancholy. Sorry to hear it's got you, too.

Krupskaya said...

Great line. Now I have a new poet to look up!

You know, of course, you don't have to feel guilty that you're glad they're gone. :) It's hard to say which is more powerful -- the guilt moms lay on other people, or the guilt they lay on themselves.

trisha said...

Well, doesn't sound like necessarily a bad feeling. Whenever I decide to move on (okay, that makes it sound like I have actually moved on more than once or twice), I feel a twinge of sadness for what I am leaving behind. Even though the what I am leaving behind isn't happy, fun stuff...oh, blahblahblah.

Good post.