What's he watching, Lifetime for First Graders?

The Boy has been saying some things lately. Some strange things. Things that lead me to believe that maybe his Papa is not monitoring his TV intake closely enough.

For example. Witness the scene earlier this evening, while he was getting into his pajamas:
Boy: Mom. You know, you don't need to spend a fortune on sewing materials. There's an easier way. With the Buttoneer, you just hook [strange hand gesture here] and pull, and voila! Buttons.
Me: ... the ... Buttoneer.
Boy: [nodding emphatically] Mmm-hmmm!
Me: Ahhhh-huh.

Ten minutes later, lying beside me in his bed, reading stories:
Boy: Mom. Tomorrow, can you please slice two slices of cucumber and put them in my lunchbag?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, hon, we don't have any cucumbers right now.
Boy: DARN IT!!
Me: I'll be happy to pick one up at the store next time, if you'd like.
Boy: YES. Pick one up tomorrow, and slice me two slices before bed tomorrow night, and I will put them on my eyes. It's so refreshing!
Me: Oookaaaay.

But you know, he does have a point.